“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.”

– Pablo Picasso

My letter today is inspired by the upcoming Volunteer's Week (3-7th June) and the spirit of one of the most important things we can do in this life - to give.

“I Want to Help People”

When I was 17, I was asked many times, “Why do you want to be a doctor?” I'd say something along the lines of, “I want to help people.” Cringe. Truthfully, my motivations were more about money, career, security, and parental pressure (hello, ethnic minority here.) I’m not sure if helping people was at the forefront of my young mind.

Years later, I realise this banal answer may not have been entirely insincere. It’s possible that at 17, I knew something I didn’t give myself credit for - that wanting to help people wasn’t a bad answer or, indeed, a bad idea.

Now more than ever, I know the value and magic of service, regardless of occupation or interests. Not because I’m a paragon of virtue but because being of service actually serves us in the most remarkable ways.

Science of Giving

Robert Waldinger, the guardian of the Harvard longevity study, asked people in their 80s what they were proudest of. The most common answer was their dedication to others—colleagues, friends, and causes bigger than themselves. People found the most consistent and significant meaning in being a good spouse, a wonderful mentor, or a loving parent.

Like other lifestyle pillars that keep us well, such as eating a healthy diet and exercising, giving helps to maintain our well-being. But it seems to be something that’s often overlooked and easy to dismiss.

How can giving anything - money, time, skill or energy - help us? Research shows that acts of service and even thoughts of giving do measurably more for our well-being than focusing on self-care alone. Studies have demonstrated that volunteering boosts mood, reduces inflammation, improves heart health, and even helps us live longer. Isn’t that the craziest thing?

Did anyone listen to Dr Michael Mosley’s program yesterday on volunteering? Here's the link: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m001zmcl

“If you struggle with your mental well-being and happiness, reaching out to others could be an intervention on a par with – or even more powerful than – any medicinal, nutritional or other remedy. And I don’t just mean asking for help. By giving to others, volunteering your time, helping out, or lending an ear, your own well-being is boosted, too. Feeling part of a community is as much about making your contribution.”

- Dr Rangan Chatterjee

(National) Service

This subject of service is just a touch topical, too, considering last week’s Tory proposal for a new scheme for youngsters—mandatory national service or volunteering. Whatever your opinion on that nugget, the underlying principle of serving others can benefit everyone.

I interact with many young patients every day who seem so terribly lost, and it makes me agonise about what might help them. It appears to me that there’s often a struggle in the transition to adulthood because they haven’t discovered their unique ways to contribute to the world—yet. Misery amplifies from child-like self-preoccupation in environments ever devoid of connection and community.

But is this really a young person’s problem? Don’t we all possess the same issues and self-preoccupation at least some of the time? Maybe age isn’t the most important discriminator.

Get Over Yourself

If we focus our attention on something other than ourselves, we realise life isn’t about us. We get to remember that we are simply part of the world. Offering ourselves to another living being, neighbourhood, or cause is a connection to spirituality itself—a transcendence from the lonely place of the small self.

Here’s where we could start discussing the distinction between the self and the higher Self. In yoga, there is a philosophical idea that we as individuals are little contracted parcels of consciousness (the small self). The idea is that we are all searching to return to an expanded state and our true nature- peeling away the flawed notion that we are separate beings and not just part of the whole.

Yoga suggests that by using methods that search fully inward and engage fully outward, we are walking (each other) home from individual to collective consciousness.

Yoga is union. 😉

From that lost, fearful, insecure self that’s all about me, me me, to the Self that holds no “me” and “you”, no separation. If we could truly love our neighbours as we love ourselves and devote our efforts to others, could this move us bit by bit toward our Higher Selves?

I wonder what would happen if everyone kept service as the guiding light of their lives.

Wow, imagine.

Self-Serving

All of us can easily give for the sake of giving. I’ll speak for myself, but self-centredness comes oh so easily; selflessness, not so much. I’ve given to receive thanks, reciprocation, and admiration, thinking that would serve me well. It does the opposite.

So, how do we practically foster unconditional giving that genuinely serves our souls and find a happy balance between self-care and the care we enact for others?

Let’s go with some well-trodden ideas. First, we could recognise that serving others is truly an act of self-service that obliterates loneliness. Next, we could foster compassion and love to nurture the sincerity of giving in our hearts.

And then to practice, always practice—putting ourselves in opportunities to serve in whatever capacity we can. Until a devotion to service becomes a devotion to the very best of ourSelves.

I’ll borrow a sign-off from my friend Charlotte, whose email signature so aptly reads,

“You make a living by what you get; you make a life by what you give.”

How, then, do you serve yourself, to serve others, to serve yourself?

Time to fill the cup from which to pour…?

Let’s practise.