“Watch your thoughts, for they become words. 

Watch your words, for they become actions. 

Watch your actions, for they become habits. 

Watch your habits, for they become character. 

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny” 

- Attrib Lao Tzu

Sexy, Not Sorry

A mentor of mine has a rule when she runs training sessions for us yoga teachers.

Every time someone says “I’m sorry” during a training session, she stops them and asks them to correct themselves.  “You’re not sorry…you’re…?”  she prompts. 

“I’m not sorry, I’m sexy,” comes the reply.  And we all have a giggle. 

She’s like a hawk.  Without fail, she autocorrects every “sorry" to "sexy."  Every single time! 

At first, it feels silly and a bit ridiculous.  And yet — it works.  The sorrys appear less and less. There are certainly a few sexys that show up as a result, and they always make us smile.  And now, as we teachers reunite in that space, the apologies have all but disappeared completely.  

It’s genius. 

 Auto-Apology

I love this rule because it interrupts something automatic and habitual that we don’t even know we’re doing.  Once you start listening for sorrys, you hear them everywhere. 

“I’m sorry but…”

“Sorry to bother you”

“Sorry - quick question.”

Someone bumps into you in the street, and you say sorry.  

In emails, messages, conversations, doorways. Zoom rooms. 

Why?  What are we apologising for exactly?  Sorry for speaking, sorry for taking time, sorry for asking, sorry for existing in space?

Words aren’t Neutral

This small, frequent act of self-erasure, wherever it came from, is not neutral. 

Words aren’t just sounds we make - they create meaning and real changes in our physiology, shaping emotions and action.  What we say out loud affects how we feel inside.  And how we feel inside affects what we say and do next.  And so it goes - an insidious little loop we’re often unaware of.

A tiny inner commentary running beneath our actions, posture, breath, and choices.

The mind decides; the body responds.  And a single sentence can collapse or lift us. Think of the difference between:

 “I can’t” and “I can”

“I should” and “I choose”

“I have to” to “I get to” (my current fave switch out) 

They seem like very small words, but the shifts in the body are anything but. 

Language of Yoga

This shows up clearly on the mat.  I hear phrases like this all the time — and I catch myself doing it too.

“Sorry, I’m not very good at xyz.”

“I used to be able to do this.”

“I’m not strong enough”

What does the body hear, I wonder, when these are the words we feed it?  Especially when a pose feels unfamiliar or demanding — when words like handstand, balance, or strength enter the room — the narration can arrive before the body has even had a chance to respond.

The mind decides first.  And often, the body does exactly what it’s told, and gives the mind what it expects.

Wouldn’t you rather be Sexy? 

So if you have a habitual thing you always say, maybe it’s sorry, maybe it’s something else - try catching it sometime. 

Make the unconscious, conscious.  And replace a reflexive apology occasionally with presence, or interrupt it with something more helpful.

Wouldn’t you rather be sexy than sorry?  

I know which I’d rather be. 😁

Let’s practice.