“When educating the minds of our youth, we must not forget to educate their hearts” - The Dalai Lama

I saw this mural outside a school in Dehradun when I was in India last year, and I stood there for a long while wondering...

Children will spend years educating their minds.  But who is teaching them how to love?  

We learn and train for skills, careers, qualifications and achievements.  But rarely are we taught to repair after rupture, to stay open when we want to close, to listen without defending, to hold differences without fear. How to stay loving in the face of disappointment and ego. How to love unconditionally. Can these things be taught? 

If the quality of our lives is shaped by the quality of our relationships, then surely, this belongs front and centre in our educational curriculum?

Educating the Heart

This month, I’ve been sending messages of gratitude each day as part of my February challenge.  What is surprising me is not just how abundant love is if you choose to see it, how much love is unlocked when you give your love freely, and how every meaningful relationship  - even the difficult, irritating or painful ones give us an opportunity to educate our hearts further in the art of love.

Some relationships have taught me tenderness, others boundaries; some have taught me how to accept myself and accept others.  I’ve been schooled in humility, forgiveness and kindness all through the grace of other people.   The easy relationships are gifts, the painful ones are teachers. All give valuable education.  

It’s easy to think love should all be about good vibes, kinship, comfort and support. I’ve come to believe a few things about love that feel true: 

Love is as much a verb as it is a feeling.  

Love is simple, though we often choose to complicate it.  

At our essence, Love is our default state. 

The Heart of Yoga

Perhaps this is why the yogic framework of seeing the world resonates with me so deeply.  

From the moment we are born, as we enter a world of competition and comparison, we learn unconsciously to build walls of separation.  The heart of Yoga, quite literally, points to this problem.  It suggests that love is already at the centre of who we are, despite everything that prevents us from seeing it. 

Underlying the poses, the breathwork, the philosophy and lifestyle lies this teaching: that at our core we are not broken, deficient, or separate - these beliefs that so amplify our suffering. 

We search for love, as if there is something missing, yet it is always there. 

And so, the practice becomes less about acquiring love and more about removing the blocks that keep us from experiencing it.  Removing rather than adding.  Unlearning. Softening the layers that obscure love - the conditioning, the defences, the stories, and the fears that make us forget who we are and separate us from ourselves and each other.  In that process, something is uncovered.  

Wholeness. And that wholeness feels a lot like Love. 

Core Curriculum

What we lack in education may not be more information, but integration. Knowledge without heart is powerful, but potentially dangerous. Skill without compassion can wound.  

All the education in the world means little if we do not know how to direct that intelligence and bring it into relationship. 

I heard a great analogy recently: a knife, sharpened for function and precision, can take a life or prepare a nourishing meal. The tool, however sharp, beautiful or efficient itself, is neutral; it is the heart that holds the handle that determines its impact. 

I wonder what would happen if we educated our hearts as relentlessly as we do our minds.  Might we realise that learning to love is not an optional subject in the curriculum of life, but at its very centre. 

I find myself thinking about the children behind the school walls in Dehradun. And as much as they might be taught about gratitude, compassion and service, this education doesn’t happen through theory, but through relationship itself. The people in their lives will become mirrors, teachers and invitations to grow beyond the limits of their own perspective - shaping how they open or close to love.

And I know, this isn’t just for children. It’s ongoing education. In fact, perhaps we adults have more work to do - unlearning and learning again.

A reminder to keep learning through relationship - and to keep educating the heart.

Let’s practice.