Tears Flow On Their Own

Yesterday, I saw three young women in close succession in my afternoon clinic. The first patient started to cry as soon as I asked her how she was. As one left and another sat down, each cried as she told her story. All were quick to apologise, first trying to stifle their tears, then eventually surrendering to the inevitable release.

I’m a prolific crier, and like these women, I always find myself a little embarrassed or apologetic about it. Any little thing can set me off. I’ve cried in so many work meetings lately; it’s getting slightly silly. I’ve cursed these watery eyes, worrying that they might betray vulnerabilities ordinarily hidden.

Despite being generally very happy, I find it curious how it is that I cry so easily. I don’t consider myself sentimental or particularly emotional (perhaps I’m wrong!), but I can’t help it - the tears keep flowing.

Energy in Motion

I’m sure you might have experienced the tearing process - the feeling of pressure building up before a single drop forms, and before you know it, you’re crying uncontrollably. It’s as if there were a dam holding back gallons of water, containing enormous potential energy in a deep, dark reservoir of pressure. Behind that dam are all kinds of emotions - frustrations, wounds, unmet desires, pent-up aggression, and aching loneliness. And other feelings that can’t entirely be formed in words but are better expressed in salty water.

Crying provides a conduit for emotions to be released. The force behind the water is so undeniable that as it gains momentum, there’s a point where resistance is futile. Then, you can only surrender to its power and watch the dam burst until every last tear is spent. There’s a certain liberation in letting go of all those built-up emotions.

Emotion is sometimes described as “Energy in motion” or E-motion. The creation and flow of tears seem to embody this as the energy courses through the body, clears and dissipates when we cry. Crying is an ingenious and important mechanism for releasing the energy that strong emotions hold, regardless of the type of emotion.

Cry like a Baby

When babies cry, I think about how forcefully they express their emotions in an expansive, uninhibited way. They tantrum impressively, revealing their true feelings. Imagine how it would feel to say and do exactly what we wanted, just as babies do, whenever we wanted.

As adults, it’s not socially acceptable to have tantrums (alas, alas). So, instead, we tend to keep so much inside, staying quiet and collected, locking everything in. We store all our disappointments, sorrows and longings for ourselves. Each person has their personal reservoir, and everyone needs to find a way to release the pressure.

How clever my body is to allow me to cry. I think about what would happen if water couldn't escape that reservoir behind my eyes. It makes me wonder how other people manage if they never cry or cannot do so. How do they then discharge the stress that builds up inside them?

Cry If I Want To

I’ve been reflecting on why I’ve been crying so much in meetings lately - the floodgates are truly open! I’m lucky enough to have people and places around me where I feel held and seen - an environment where emotions feel safe to be released. I find tears are free and copious when I can create similar conditions for my patients.

Release release release - it’s beautiful.

Not uncommonly, I’ve seen people cry whilst they practise yoga, too, particularly in Savasana. Many yogis believe that the physical opening of the body and breath allows for energy, normally stuck, to flow more freely. I also think the same sense of safety and support we create in yoga spaces contributes to this emotional release.

If you ever cry during yoga, there's no need to hold back if energy is expressed in motion. Let it go and let it flow ❤

Let’s practise.